EPISODE 0018 | Coaching Relationships
THESE NOTES ACCOMPANY EPISODE 0018
When it comes to coaching or discipleship, having the knowledge to replicate what others did for you isn't enough. You also need to learn how to identify, initiate, and sustain healthy coaching relationships. In today’s episode, Pastor Stephen explains what healthy coaching relationships look like and provides practical tips and tricks for effective coaching.
3 ESSENTIALS OF A HEALTHY COACHING RELATIONSHIP
John 14:16-17
16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.
“The most stubborn, difficult, hard-headed person you will ever coach is yourself. ”
1. The Holy Spirit’s work in our lives personally.
2. The Holy Spirit working in the lives of those you coach.
3. Cultivating an authentic relationship.
HOW TO IDENTIFY COACHABLE PEOPLE?
1. Be coachable yourself. You attract who you are not what you want. Don’t like what you’re attracting? Change that first.
2. Help others belong in a local church. Don’t start with “Hey, I want to be your coach”. Just coach them to belong at a deeper level at church.
3. Focus on quality not quantity. Jesus changed the world with 12 guys not a crowd. Remember that he’s God, so you should probably just start with 1-3 people.
4. Look for the right person.
Are they SHARP?
Secure: They are comfortable in their skin. They aren’t insecure or positional.
Healthy: When you look at their life, you think healthy. Not perfect but heathy. Few if any warning signs of infection or sickness.
Attractional: Other people see how SHARP they are too. People want to be around them for the right reasons.
Relational: They handle offense immediately and according to Matthew 18. They aren’t surrounded by offended people.
Positive:They are happy to be around. Happy to be used by God. The glass is half full and the future is bright.
PRACTICES OF A GREAT COACH
1. Master the process. A good coach knows the game and has mastered the playing field. Become a master at helping people belong (relational strategy) and helping people grow using The Everyday Disciple (the personal strategy).
2. Ask a lot of questions and limit your advice. Jewish Rabbis would employ this tactic. We see it with Jesus. Remember the Holy Spirit is working, his advice and voice in their life is better than yours. Ask questions that lead people, don’t push them with constant advice.
3. Be vulnerable. You are both the coach and a team mate. You don’t have it together and you can learn from them just as much as they learn from you. Think of yourself as a shoulder ahead and a great facilitator.
4. Coach habits through healthy mindsets and sustainable rhythms. Again go back to how they use their time. Look out for toxic mindsets, challenge them when you see them and go back to slow and stead wins the game.
5. Point people back to God. Ask them, what is God saying to you? What do you hear from the Holy Spirit?
RESOURCES:
The Everyday Disciple™ is a powerful tool used by pastors and churches to coach and mentor leaders using a Biblical approach to personal growth and discipleship. This system was created by Stephen Martin in collaboration with Church Sherpa, a nonprofit dedicated to resourcing the local church.
Jesus’ first disciples were ordinary, everyday people who were so convinced of who Jesus was that they were willing to give up everything to follow him. To them, being a Christian wasn’t about a program or an event. Life was their program, and every day was their event.
As Christians, we aren’t called to be religious do-gooders but instead to grow up in every way into Christ, who is our head (Ephesians 4:15). In every way means in everything. We are to be disciples every day, not just Sundays.
The Everyday Disciple™ is a 24 session life-coaching system designed to guide you step by step through four parts of personal growth: Whole Heart Devotion, Personal Vision, Time Management, and Disciplined Habits. You can order the materials and gain access to the coaching videos by clicking the image above!
